My Blog

many things had happen this few days…………… n i really dunno how i ahould handle it………………. the purpose of this blog this time is to tell u guys that i will be considering to shut down this blog, friendster or even my msn as well…………y???????????? cause friendster was one of the cause of trouble……………….. so this may be my last blog n updates in friendster…………… i started this blog with nothing n i almost end this thing by lossing everything……………… half a month…………….. another half a month i will know that should i shut down everything………

i thik times really flies………. i started college last year n i thought the exam will not be so soon but now the exam is over……………many things that i thought it will not happen also happen as well…………… i had not miss a person like tis before……… i really hope i can be with her forever without any time that we r seperated…………. but in the reality this might not happen………………perhaps it will happen in the future but not know lol……………. after exam i when to genting with her……………it was fun…………. than after that she when back to penang……….. n i also visited her in penang for the whole week…………. i thought the whole week was long enough but it was like i just spend a minute with it n i have to go back to kl after i blink my eyes…………….. but after ji reach kl i was still able to meet her cause she when down to kl for the exibition……………….i really enjoy the exibition although i have to stand n walk n say the same old dialog thousand over time for the whole day cause i can spend some time n see her the whole day as well…………. the 4 days of exibition pass like a single day………… n pop it was the time for her to go back to peneng again……….. before she go back to peneng we when out together………… she help me to choose some new cloth n even bought me 1…………..it was very nice…………. i like it a lot…………..thanks…………… but in the end she have to go back to penang on tuesday………….. i thought i wont be abl to see her on tuesday but i was lucky cause i when out for a meeting n her mum n dad fetch me to her house to have lunch there so i can see her before she go back to penang……………… her parents r so gd n kind to me la……………… they treat me so well la……………just like i am 1 of the family member only………….her dad also teach me how to do business in the reality as well that is not teach in any textbook…………. thanks……………but in the end after they send me home all of them when back to penang…………. i dunno when ii only can meet her now……………. i really miss u a lot la dd………………:(

wat does the word above means??????????????? who actuallly have such an ability??????????????????? the word self confident simply means an ability to show others that that we r confidence with ourselves…………. maybe those that do not fear for  anything when they do something lol…………. do i have such ability?????????? the answer to this question is i dunno…………… maybe i have it during i am still young n losing it slowly every single day……………….. y did i say this?????????????? cause when i am still in kindergarden n primary skul i have full confidence in doing everything…………… it does not matter studies,relationship, sports or any other stuff………….. i had never doubt my own ability before when i am in that age……….. i do everything without any fear or aome times i dun even have to think when i am given a task to do…………….. i dun even scare the risk of failling for doing the task………….. i just know that i am the best n everything will work according to wat i 1 it to be………………….. the word ‘fail’   had never seem to appear in my head before during that time…………….. maybe i am over confident during that time or i dun really have worry if anything go wrong…………. as i grow older this had all change………… this started in the secondary n until now………….. i started to think before i take every single step…………….. i will worry about the risk that might occur if i fail…………………. i became some1 that dun really like to take risk n i take a very long time to decide whether i should take a risk or not……………… this include all my studies,relationship n othres as well………………. thre r many reasons y i said this…………………last time i was in opinio that i am a very smart guy n no 1 can beat me in my studies even i dint get 1st in my exam………….. as in my sports i use to think i am the best n no 1 can ever beat me n i never give up when i have strong rival………………. all this had change……………i had become a coward that only know how to hide…………….. my studies became rubbish………………n my sports as well……………i thought i had stop playing the sports for some time n as i pratice more i will be able to pley like last time…………….. but i think i am wrong………….. i can never be like last time anymore…………….this same goes to others…………..now i am just a big coward that only know how to run away from problems n not face it…………………. the thing that i 1 last time never really fail to get it before but know it become more n more for me to get wat i really 1……………….. i am gd talker last time…………..i can easily made a person laugh or even persuave  others to do something that they dunreally 1 to do…………. but now everthing seems to be gone………..i was like a stone that i dun not know how to talk when i am infront of others…………. maybe as i grow i know things is complicated n is not as easy as last time lol…………… in a better way means maybe i know how to think better than last time……………or in a siple way means i had become a coward……………. or did i really hope too much from her?????????????????????????????????????

the answer for the title is i dunno………y did i say this??????? i dun really know as well………..when i am young, i am very happy when the holiday come……..y?????????? cause when i have holiday menas that i dun need to study or even stress for exam………….i am not as working as most of u guys thought i am……..i am actually a very lazy person……….. dun really like to study or even stress myself…….. i study cause i know i should…….. as i become older maybe cause i know this world better i start to think a lot during my holiday……… some times i even feel very boring to have holiday………i hope to have college………. at least i can spend some time with my friends n i dun have to think too much or use up some of my time………. i think as i grow older i think things had become more complicated………. or maybe i am the 1 that made it complicated………. many thing that i dun relly bother last time had seems to be the main problem too me now……….. before my exam start i was hoping it will be over n i dun need to stress anymore for my study……….. times really flies………..my exam just past like this n the holiday came……..starting of the 1st few days of my  holiday i was actually very happy but this ended quickly………. stress n problems soon come……… i really dun hope such problems will occur……….. i dun even know how i can actually solve such problems…………….i keep on thinking about it but i can never find a solution to solve it……….maybe i too stupid lol………. before a problem is solve the 2nd 1 occur n add more pressure on me………. my mood totally run out……..wat i know i can do is just to go to sleep n hope things will become better once i wake up…………….but this dun seems to be working……………..maybe i am just runnig away from the problems n not solving it lol……………..but i really dunno wat i can do to solve it……………  hope that it can be solve when the time past………………. so do holiday really gd????????????? the answer is i really dunno…………….. maybe is not that gd aftre all but is not that bad also……………….. i dunno wat i am typin de la……………..maybe the holida is gd or bad just depends how u use it lol…………………………..

13/6/08………..this was the date when my exam finish……..how is my result???????? i can tell u that i cant predict it…….it will be out on the coming august……..but i du think i will be able to maitai my result as the previous exam…………. but at least i had try my best n i yhink i will not regret it……………… even the result is not gd i have no choice la…….. as long as i can go to llb than can de lol………  on that day  we r acting like the exam is over for weeks de…….no 1 actually studying hard……… maybe it was only me…………mr khor had high hope on me……but i will like to say sorry to him 1st cause i dun think ki can achieve thetarget that u 1……… sorry sir…….. as for other subject i dun think i will be able to get gd result for it as well…….. but i dun 1 to think about it de la…….as long as i try my best de i will be happy with the result………… on that day i when to mv to play pool for few hour……..it was very fun…….even ah ne come n join us on that nite……it was his last day working in the college on that day…… i think i wont be able to meet him anymore de la…….he is going back to burma to get married……..this is wat he always say la……..i dunno true or not……. after tha nite…… the nxt day i when to genting with dd……. others all ffk us last minute……..i will remember this……….all plan de than u all ffk…….u all call this frens la……..but nvm la……at least it was fun to go with dd…… we did a lot of stuff in genting……..dint go in the theme park but when to walk n play around the whole genting…….. than we go for a movie with osim…… so relax la…… it worth the price…….. so not consider waste money at all……… than the nxt day i just stay at home doing nothing……thought  to rest after study for so long for the exam……… dd told me that she will be going back on that day but in the end there is a change of plan she is going back on monday……….wat a waste……. if i know i should had go to meet her for another day before she go back la…………. so stupid la me……….. at last monday came n she when back to penang…….only me myself left in kl…….even daniel went back to muar…….. i thought i will enjoy thus long term break……. but it actually not that gd also la……… it was so boring la…….nothing to do at all……
just stay at home only…….. n i have too much time to think about nonsense……….. i miss dd la………even it was only few days i dint meet her but i really few like it had been few years la…….. i miss u la dd……….. hope that 24 faster come than i can go to penang to meet her la……….haiz………………

                     some of u guys must be thinking wat does my blog title means this time……. so let me to u all that it means nothing …………..i just dun know wat title should i put for this time blog………..today i hsd been thinking about the same old thing for the whole day long……….even before i go for my moral exam…………the exam was bad………i dun even know wat i am writing in my exam sheet………been writing some rubbish in it…………..i tembak almost 99% of the paper……….. but i dun really feel bad after the exam……………..maybe i dun really bother about it or i fail too many times until i do not have any feling anymore………….wat i am thinking for the whole day??????????? i dun really know also la……… i was thinking am i too selfish or maybe i am too sensetive……….. or maybe i had hope a bit more than i should…………… i dun really hope things to become like this………. i am sorry……….i dun really know wat to say anymore…… i think i had loss sll my skill to convince others to listen to me………. or maybe this should be like since the the start………
                                   today before i went home or i should say dd force me to go home cause it was raining……..she was worry that i will get wet again n i will fall sick………i know it was for my own gd…….but i really few like spending more time with her………. she drag me all the way to the bus station n it was raining during that time………..than she walk back to college alone………i am very worry about her cause ahe dun have a hp anymore because of me………..i dun even know did she reach college safetly or even did she reach home safetly………i have many thing to talk to her but i cant………. i stay quite near to her but it still seems so far away………..

               Many things had change between this manth n also last month…………….many things that i dint thought to happen actually happen………n my hp that use to vibarte n ring non stop ha stop for few days…………not because my phone is spoil or i switch  on the silent mode but is because dd had cut off her hp line………….. is all because of my fault for smsing her non stop until her bill become so expensive that cause her get scolding from her parents………..i really regreted for not changing my hp line from digi to maxis earlier…………..if i did she dun have to cut her line off……………i wanted to sms her n ask her thousand of quwstion but i cant cause she did not have a useable line now………… thought to call her buy a prepaid line but she refuses due to certain reason……. n is actually for the benifit of both of us…………she was in a opinion that i will not concentrate in my study if  she have a line n she will only get the new loine after the a-level exam………….but it was actually the opposite……………i can really concentrate cause i keep on thinking wat she is doing n did she study for her exam n also whether she is tired or not after studying………….i had been thinking non stop about the same old thing again n again but i cant seem to get the answer……… i can sms to her counsin’s hp but i dun thing that is gd so i dint do it………. yesterday daniel ask me whether anything happen between both of us cause she did not have a hp line antmore……..he said that a couple should be like this…….. n i told him that we r fine…………… i actually plan to buy a prepaid line for her wihout her notice n force her to use it…………..but in the end i  dint………cause i dun hope force her to do things that she dun 1 to do n also respect her desicion……………..if she think this is the best solution than just let it be  althought i really hope that she will get a line……
                         yesterday me,dd, n also dan when to talipon to eat………it was very nice………….we took a lot of stuff to eat…………….almost cant finish all of the………….me n dd had been arguing dan should send who home 1st as both of us hope to see each other house…………… when i am trying to made dd to change her mind so that she will allow dan to send her home 1st she stated that "i dun know i got any change to see ur house in the future"……… this sentence was like a bomb to me…………it poke straight right into my heart n it feels so bad………. i remember wat i promise u………….n i also will uphold my promise if it is necessary but i also hope that u will remember wat u promise me as well…………. i cant promise  that i will be with u forever cause i  cant predict wat will happen in the future…………….. but wat i can promise u is that i will try my very best to made it forever……………….. i am not blaming u but i just hope that we will not give up ech other so easily………….

it had been quiet some times i dint receive anything from anyone as present de………..even for my birhtday……………. i think the gift that actually get was during my primary skul on standard 1 or 2……….. on my birthday party or christmas…………i also dun really remember it de…………… all this because they started paying me money on all the celabration n told me to get watever i 1 with those money…….. but they dun really realsi that this is not the only thing i need it……….. she told me that how much is the thing u buy for some one is not important………..the importance is that u uses ur heart to buy the present……….n i think this is very true……….but for a stone like me i dun actually know the things i buy for ppl actually they like it or not……..thats y i dun like to buy stuff for others………..cause it will bring me headache……….. she bought me a gift few days ago……………that i should have post this blog on that day……….but i was kind the busy so i dint manage to do it………..i dun really know the price but i was really touch by the present…………is not because of i dint receive a present for a long period but is because of wat she had done on it n also the heart  n also the time she used to prepare the present……………i never think before that a stone like me will be able to get some one that is so gd n also get such present………….. i was  really thankful to her gift………………it was the best gift that i ever hed in my life………….however she is now under study stress that i was unable to help much…………..hey,relax la……………dint u always tell me this………….u forget de ah……………u still have time la………….so dun worry………….n i will always be there to help u………….just call me when u need me…………i will try my best to be there when u need me…………

today was a very mamorable  today…………..i will not forget this day forever until i am die……………..i dunno wat to write n just know that i am very happy now…………….at last all the problem is solve n now i do not need to worry about any misunderstanding anymore…………….just fell very happy now………….haha……………dunno how to deacribe la…………just happy lol…………..hehe…………….

during the olden days ppl think that when it started to rain heavily means that something bad had or going to happen…………i dun actually believe this but now i am starting to believe de………… for the past few days my area was always raining……….. every time it stared to rain some problem will occur from no where……….this problem was everything that i dun hope it had happen……….however it was able to settle after a while………..but the problems r stoping n it keep on coming non stop………..when does this going to stop????????????? each drop of rain seems to be tears from ppl that can perfectly reflect a human in tears since i cant really actually cry……………maybe cause i too long dint cry de thats y now no tears is coming out………….. i remember she told me quite some times ago that if u r happy than laugh n if u r sad than just cry la……….this was easy theory but it seems to be difficult to me cause i cant force the tears to come out from me……….. or i cant even laugh cause i am not actually happy after facing with so many problems………… things had been very difficult for the past few days……….i cant put all of them in words…………..actually i should be happily waiting for time to past today but in the end it end up to be barely spending my time writing out how useless i am…………….. many things flase back in my head today which is related to her n almost most of it r happy stuff…………for the past few days she been asking me a lot of question n i try my very best to answer all of them but i dun really know she like my answer or not……….. n dunno y i lost my ability to reply fastly or put the words in a proper order without missing any words in my sms………….in 2 sms i actually miss out the word ‘not’ that made her misunderstand…………..luckly she is willing to forgive me if not i will in big trouble…………..due to this incident i have been more careful in replying her sms cause i know due to 1 tiny little word it will be enough to kill me……………….today during b.s break she ask me a question again that i had answer in directly………………but i dun think my answer is important anywher cause i think she should know wat is my answer n it is actually her answer is the important part n not mine……………however i know that i cant force her to give me the answer so i decided to think for a bit longer……………..wat ever is ur answer i will respect it……………besides i think it had nothing to be fair or unfair in this…………….is just up to u la………………..haiz…………….